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The similarities between a spider building a web and a sex predator building a web: A sex predator just needs to attach and is skilled and finding needs and meeting them.

October 3, 2010

Stage 2. (reinforcing thread)

Parent/Caregiver

The Spider races backwards and forwards across the original thread, once it is securely attached to something. He lays more strands to make it stronger, because this one thread supports the whole weight of the web. It is crucial he gets this right or the whole web will crumble.

The Sexual Predator needs to come in and out of your life to build trust, backwards and forwards, meeting needs, securing trust, testing boundaries, becoming part of your support network, until you need him. This is designed to build the bond between the predator and you, allowing him to strengthen the relationship. Once he is assured the bond is secure he will feel confident to move forward to the next phase.

He may even withdraw emotionally to test the strength of the attachment.  The strength of how much you need him determines the next step for him. For some people the attachment is reached in the early stages of the relationship building. This depends on how skilled he is at deception and reading people.

He may become the indispensible friend, mentor or provider, without actually moving into the family home and you may find yourself starting to need him. That need, empowers him to move forward and gives him more control over your life.

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